What Ever Happened to Manners and Etiquette?

While people-watching in a local bar last night, I suddenly realized there are no rules anymore. People don't know how to eat with their mouths closed, talk without food in their mouths, how to sit properly, how to hold a knife and fork, or even have basic consideration for the people at the next table.
It's not that I expect things never to change over time, but some things should never be thought "acceptable" as far as I'm concerned. We could blame the media, of course, since television shows and movies over-exaggerate bad behavior to get laughs - but why do kids feel the need to emulate these things - does it make them feel like movie stars or something?


For example, the girl with the long hair who kept putting it up into a rubber band, then letting it back down and tossing her head around to loosen her hair up again, only to put it back into the rubber band. She did this repeatedly throughout the evening, greatly annoying the couple next to her who were the recipients of the strands of hair that did not remain attached to her head. Then there was the young couple, obviously in the early stages of a relationship, who were trying to eat steaks but had no clue how to hold a fork and knife properly, and ended up pushing food off their plates and one even accidentally throwing a piece of meat at the other when their fork slipped from their grip. Another young woman sitting on a bar stool, felt compelled to pull her legs up and sit cross-legged on the seat. Not the worst offense, perhaps, until you take into account what she was wearing, which was a pair of very fashionably ripped and tight-fitting, low-cut blue jeans. If only the rips had not been strategically placed exactly where they were, and if only the jeans were actually in her size, but this was not the case and the sight of cellulite bulging through was really quite repulsive.

Turning to face another direction, I found myself watching a 30-something young man sitting with his buddies watching the hockey game and drinking beer. I first noticed his baseball cap was too big and sat halfway down over his ears at a sideways tilt - odd but not an offensive issue. Then he began to chew on his fingernails, alternately with reaching over to take fries from a shared platter, and at one point, he even picked his nose, then went back to chewing on his fingernails. Too much. I had to leave.

I  later realized I was probably just in the wrong bar and there was a reason I don't frequent that place very often. I am fully aware that young people are not in the habbit of trying to impress anyone with how well mannered they are. In fact, it's usually quite the opposite. Burping, farting, and generally just "being yourself" are prized among the younger generations - but in public? This certainly wasn't the way I was raised, you probably weren't either, and most likely, these kids know better too. I don't understand how being rude is funny or how being ignorant is admirable, but in any society, these things should be considered deplorable.

Yes, I'm aware that our society no longer favors charm and wit over sarcasm and foolishness. Just take a look at what the biggest hits on YouTube are, watch political news for five minutes, or take a look around at the bar tonight. Quite honestly, I don't think most of these people even had a clue that their behavior should be any different than it is, given the lack of good examples kids have these days. Maybe it's up to us grandparents to do the training. Maybe we need to get back to some basics: manners at the dinner table (does anyone eat at a dinner table anymore?), consideration for the people around you, and pride in the way you look.

I know I could go on and on about the ways people misbehave, but what good does it do to complain? No, instead, I'm going to take my granddaughter out this weekend for some people watching. We'll keep score to see who catches the most offenses, then make sure there's a prize for the winner. She'll win, of course, but so will I. Maybe we can start a revolution (I write with a smirk). It's so much fun to be a grandma! Who's with me?!