Reminiscing

This is a note I wrote back in May of 2009. I had taken several photographs of the farm where I grew up after learning it was destined to become a public access to the lake and many of the remaining buildings would soon be demolished. I hope you don't mind that I share it again.

"I'm back in Minnesota for a visit so, on a whim, I stopped by the farm where I grew up near Underwood. It was cool & windy with clouds threatening rain but I needed to "go home." The fields are all plowed but the buildings have been deserted for quite some time. The dirt driveway is mostly overgrown with grass now, the water in the lake is high yet from the spring thaw, many of the big old trees my brother & I used to build forts in are gone now, and of course the barn had been struck by lightening & burned to the ground almost 20 yrs ago.


The paint is peeling off the old farmhouse & other buildings, weeds have over-taken my mother's gardens, the garage door hangs open at an odd angle, & it's hard to tell there were ever sidewalks leading to both the front & back porches from the driveway.

I decided to get out of the car to take a few pictures. Once I started snapping shots of the house, I decided to head down to the barnyard, thinking this will probably be the last time I return to see it. I was truly saddened to see the state of disrepair & dilapidation of all the hay barns, silos, corn & grain cribs. Walking through the weeds out onto the broken concrete area between the barns, it struck me just how creepy the scene truly was. I looked around me half expecting Kathy Bates to walk out of the old shed with a hatchet.... The wind was gusting & a window in the tool shed was rattling incessantly, but there was no sign of any other living thing.

I snapped off more photos in every direction before slowly making my way back to the house through the weeds & climbed back into the car just as it began to sprinkle. I sat & looked through raindrops at the house where I grew up & my mind filled up with long-forgotten memories. It was a happy, carefree childhood that I was remembering. Mom, Dad, 2 brothers, 3 sisters, hired hands, grandparents visiting - everything flooded into my mind in a jumble of fond memories.

I lived here when my son was born. I was only 17. I remember my mother asking me what I was going to do when we sat in my bedroom & I told her I was pregnant. No decision was forced on me. The choice was mine. There was no doubt in my mind that I would have a baby. I chose to be a mom. This was the house I brought my son home to & this was where we lived until I finished high school & found an apartment 6 months later.

My mother and my son have both been taken from this life. The world carries on without them, but traces of our roots will remain, along with memories of a time long past.
The several wood ticks I picked up hopefully, have all been found & disposed of. I'll post the photos when I get to a real computer. For now, all I have is my story, happy memories, and tears."

After reading this note, my sister wrote me:

"I enjoyed your writing, yet it made me so sad- for people who no longer are with us, and a home which no longer exists. Our great-grandparents built that house based on a grainery, and the other buildings were added as the generations made it their home. I remember my great-grandmother and her room with special things in it, and I remember when she died when I was 6. It was later the "3 little sister's " room. Our fraternal grandparents lived there before us. So many wonderful memories of them.... So sad that the small farms are deserted and then become overgrown and disappear!"

Our time here seems to be made up of both new things and old things, in such a wonderful blend. I'm so happy I was raised where I was and by the wonderful parents we had. Thank you for letting me share this with you.