What I Want My Granddaughter To Know

My granddaughter is such a smart and kind young lady. At 12 years old, she is very mature and easy to talk with. Yet I worry about her. Girls her age are so fragile. They are just learning to express themselves. At that age, it seems you learn everything through trial and error. You can't just read a book and have it all figured out.

I hope that she'll be able to recognize and build healthy relationships with her classmates and avoid those who don't respect her or her emotions. I want her to own her mistakes and accept constructive criticism without losing her confidence and ambitions. I'd like her to be a leader rather than a follower.

What's With All The Old People At The Buffet?

Okay, so buffets are usually cheap and often older people are on a fixed income, but how much can (or should) a person eat?!  So why not go to a real restaurant, order an appetizer or salad, maybe a nice meal to share? Many restaurants have senior pricing. Perhaps it's just that they like to see what they're getting and don't want to risk ordering from a menu? I find it hard to believe they truly enjoy the cafeteria atmosphere or the mediocre quality of food. Perhaps it's popular because all their friends go there and they will have a chance to socialize? Maybe it's a pace issue - they can take what they want, eat as slow as they want, get more when they want, and not be rushed out by the wait staff? Is it because prime time becomes bed time and they need to finish eating really early? Well, I guess I just don't get it... yet!

Quit Complaining and Do Something About It

I keep seeing stories all over the internet about how we seem to care more about Whitney Houston's death, Kim Kardashian's wedding, Jeremy Lin's game stats, and Demi Moore's rehab stint than we care about our soldiers who die fighting for our country.

Let me fill you in on a little secret: Whitney, Kim, Jeremy, and Demi have spent more time in our homes than nameless, faceless soldiers in camouflage ever have. Whitney has been singing to us for a couple of decades and we know all the words to her songs to sing along, Kim is so outragous we can't wait to discuss her the next day around the water cooler, Jeremy is bringing the crowds into the sports bars in droves, and Demi - well, she's played everything from a soldier to a stripper and we just love her cuz she's hot.

But soldiers? They all look alike in their uniforms and we know nothing about them. That's why we don't care about them. We can't be expected to cry for every person that turns up on the obituary pages just because they served our country. But we should. And we could. Here's how: sensationalism!

Let's Get Real (Personal.....)

It seems the older I get, the more strongly I feel about certain issues. As usual, I am already fed up with politics months before the elections are scheduled to take place. I'm especially fed up with those old men who want to tell us what we can and cannot do with our own bodies. The GOP has some very dangerous opinions about health care and when life begins.

Let's start with a "for instance." I'm going to use someone I know pretty well as an example. When she was young, she suffered a burst appendix which left scar tissue on her ovaries, fallopian tubes, and other areas of her internal organs. She was told she would never become pregnant due to these issues. Using this information, she found it unnecessary to use contraceptives and was basically given a license for having unprotected sex. (So far, she and her husband fit perfectly into the ultra-conservative Republican profile.)

Never Too Old to Learn New Tricks

It used to be that I felt I learned something new almost every day. Lately, not so much. Now I have to make a concerted effort to find something new to learn on a regular basis. Is this a normal part of getting old? Fortunately, I love to read.

I recently found a book about table manners and setting an elegant table written by an old English butler. Cookbooks have always been fun for me to just read through, but this took me to the other side, to the duties of waiters and staff in the most royal castles in Europe. Truly inspiring!

Corey, The Amazing Super-Hero of Our Family (Part I)

While it often makes me sad to think of my son and how much I miss him, in honor of his birthday next week, I want to tell you a few stories about him so you can see what made him so special to us.

It all began with an unplanned pregnancy the summer before my senior year of high school. It was 1977, and people had mixed opinions on single mothers back then. Where I lived in rural Minnesota, however, people were mostly conservative and there were those who felt it their duty to enforce a moral code over everyone else. One woman even called my mother to tell her not to allow me out in public for fear of my influencing other young women to follow suit. Even though I'm sure it pained her to have people talking about her and her family, needless to say, my mother told her to mind her own business. I attended classes my senior year with everyone else only because there was no way they could stop me. The high school principal had strongly suggested I seek home schooling or simply drop out as so many had done before me. I refused. I was actually going to attend classes in my "condition" and it caused more than a small amount of commotion. I remember one day in December of that year when sitting in history class, there were more classmates chuckling at the movements of my belly than actually paying attention to the teacher. My friends stuck by me and we all learned from the experience together.

What Ever Happened to Manners and Etiquette?

While people-watching in a local bar last night, I suddenly realized there are no rules anymore. People don't know how to eat with their mouths closed, talk without food in their mouths, how to sit properly, how to hold a knife and fork, or even have basic consideration for the people at the next table.
It's not that I expect things never to change over time, but some things should never be thought "acceptable" as far as I'm concerned. We could blame the media, of course, since television shows and movies over-exaggerate bad behavior to get laughs - but why do kids feel the need to emulate these things - does it make them feel like movie stars or something?

Single-Parent Guilt

Having great kids was something I never felt I could truly take credit for. I was always so proud of them and bragged about how wonderful they were, yet I knew that it wasn't me that made them that way.

When I was 23, I had just gotten a divorce and moved from North Dakota to Minnesota to Arizona to Idaho in a span of just three months, dragging along my 3-year-old daughter and 5-year-old son. In the process, I had changed jobs twice and couldn't afford to move my belongings that were in storage yet in North Dakota. We found an apartment with a fabulous view of Pocatello and were within driving distance of the best of everything: the Grand Tetons, Salt Lake City, the Snake River, and so much more. All I had to do was to get back on my feet.

Neighbors Make the World Go 'Round!

Recently, my daughter's next door neighbors, really the best neighbors ever, moved half-way across the country. They hadn't known them all that long, they actually just met a couple of years ago when she moved to Boston, and each day they learned more and more about each other and found they had so very many things in common. It wasn't long before they were the best of friends, hanging out together, looking out for each others pets, and were eventually in each others weddings. They couldn't have asked for better neighbors, and they'll be awfully hard to replace.

I must admit that I don't know too many people who know their neighbors very well. Oh, sure, we know some of their names; we wave and even invite each other to our parties, yet a little small talk here and there just doesn't make for a really good neighbor. Not, at least, compared to the way we knew our neighbors when I was a kid.

Aspirations of Being a Grandma....

As a little girl, I always loved and admired my grandmothers. Not only were they the only babysitters we youngest grandchildren knew (not including our older brothers/sisters), they baked and played games and went for walks with us whenever we were with them. They seemed to be content with their lives and enjoy teaching us how to do some of the every day chores that needed to be done in a way that didn't make it seem like work.

Reminiscing

This is a note I wrote back in May of 2009. I had taken several photographs of the farm where I grew up after learning it was destined to become a public access to the lake and many of the remaining buildings would soon be demolished. I hope you don't mind that I share it again.

"I'm back in Minnesota for a visit so, on a whim, I stopped by the farm where I grew up near Underwood. It was cool & windy with clouds threatening rain but I needed to "go home." The fields are all plowed but the buildings have been deserted for quite some time. The dirt driveway is mostly overgrown with grass now, the water in the lake is high yet from the spring thaw, many of the big old trees my brother & I used to build forts in are gone now, and of course the barn had been struck by lightening & burned to the ground almost 20 yrs ago.

Growing old? Me? You've got to be kidding, right?

Back in 1996, my son joined the U.S. Coast Guard. It wasn't until I received my first letter from him while he was out at sea that I realized I was anything but just "mom" to him. No, now I was "The Old Lady of the Abode," as the envelope was addressed rather than in my name. I found it humorous, as he was quite the comedian sometimes. In fact, after receiving several letters addressed in this manner, I began to use the title on the return address of my packages to him as well. Obviously, it was just a joke between us, or was it?